Free Chinese Lesson - What the beep are you saying?

ENTERTAINMENT / Hot Pot Column






What the beep are you saying?

By Patrick Whiteley (China Daily)
Updated: 2007-01-11 21:51



My Chinese language teacher tells me there are four tones in Mandarin;
however, I reckon I've discovered a fifth. The sweet tone of the beeping
car horn.

You don't need lessons for this tone, just a trigger-happy hand and a
need to share the love.

It is a relatively new tone in China, however, it is by far the most
commonly used tone by millions of new motorists on the move.

Within this fifth tone, there are many variations, depending on the
circumstances.

There is the light rising beep tone, which acts as a courtesy reminder to
the driver ahead. It says: "Hey there buddy, hope you are having a good
day. Don't mind me, I'm just passing by on your left and will soon be on
my way." They can hear it, but it does not linger and causes no major
reaction.

Then there is the mid-level honk tone, which does linger but only for two
seconds. It's often used on multiple-lane roads when you're about to pass
a guy but he decides to cross over in the passing lane too.

He will never use his indicator signal or mirrors. Why use mirrors, when
the fifth tone works just fine?

This firm but friendly honk, kind of says: "Whoa there my good man,
you'll probably want to stay in your right lane, because it could get
messy." Remember, firm but fair. You don't want to push the horn for too
long because you don't know the driver's state of mind. His girlfriend
may have insisted on watching Zhang Yimou's Curse of the Golden Flower,
and he could be suicidal.

The final toot tone used in the Chinese language is the long, sustained
howler, which seems to go on forever. If you don't keep it resonating for
at least eight seconds, you're not doing it right. It is used when
everything is hopeless, and by some magic, fixes everything.

I saw it used one morning during rush hour when a narrow street was
blocked by a convoy of three cars exiting an apartment block. There was
no space, however, the three honk-eteers managed to push their way in and
then let it rip. Their sound was triumphant. The lights at the nearby
intersection turned green, the traffic jam dispersed, and everybody
behind the wheel inched their way to work.

Language experts say it takes 2,200 hours to really speak fluent Chinese
that's 40 hours a week for 13 months however, it may take a lifetime to
fully understand the mystic power of this fifth tone.

One of the niceties of the fifth tone is the controlled and measured way
it is used.

In most car-centric cities in the West, the car horn is the prelude to
serious road rage. I've seen people get out of their vehicles ready to
rumble.

Not so here. After the honking is over, so is the issue. In a very Zen
kind of way, the trouble is left behind and only the road ahead matters.

The last device Chinese motorists need is the musical car horn, the ones
that play Dixie or the Superman theme.

It will ruin everything.

Considering the Chinese love for musical mobile phone ring tones, there
is no doubt some get-rich-quick clown can see the musical honking
potential and is making plans.

It seems so many people are looking for the great beep forward.


(China Daily 01/11/2007 page20)










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